Before you get any bright ideas... A quiz for wannabee expats

This is my column that appeared in The Guardian on Friday February 23, 2007. It’s a development of the full quiz which you can see here

Since moving to Ibiza, I keep coming across the collateral damage from reality TV; people who have watched a few living-in-the-sun programmes and decided life can’t be worse than it is in Britain. Oh yes it can.

Some people are just not cut out socially, professionally or economically for existence abroad. Here are 10 questions any would-be expatriate should ask themselves before burning their British bridges in pursuit of a life in the sun.

1. Have you got the real skills and experience to make a living overseas?

It may seem like an obvious question, but it never ceases to amaze me how many expats attempt work they would never dream of doing in Britain on the basis, perhaps, that nobody will notice because they’re abroad. If you’re struggling in the UK, is there any reason why things will be different overseas?

2. Do you really hate your present job?

There’s no guarantee it’ll be any more enjoyable abroad, although sunshine can make misery more bearable. At the same time, as a foreigner, you’re likely to find you’ll lose a great deal of the professional respect you’ve gained and become used to.

3. Is there a real demand for your skills and type of business in your intended location?

Market research from a distance - and in a foreign language - is difficult, but it is far better than finding out after a few months that you can’t make a decent living in your new home.

4. What’s your attitude to credit cards and borrowing in general?

It stands to reason that you can’t legally leave behind a mountain of debt in the UK, but neither is it easy to take British attitudes to credit with you. Levels of personal borrowing are much lower in almost every other country in the world. Moving abroad also probably means losing the credit score you’ve gained from being in regular employment, owning a house and being on the electoral roll. So when you’re planning to start a new life, which is just when you most need a financial safety net, you could find it gone.

5. If you moved abroad what sort of friends would you hope to make?

Readers of this newspaper might say something about avoiding the expat scene and mixing with locals, but it’s often easier said than done - especially if the move is to a rural area. Locals who have lived in an area for generations are usually unadventurous and family oriented. You, on the other hand, are likely to be looking for adventure, leaving your family life behind.

6. Do you often go to social events in Britain with people who would be classed as coming from an “ethnic minority”?

If you move abroad it’s you who will be a member of an ethnic minority. In places where there’s not much of an expat community you can feel a bit left out. Equally, if there are large numbers of Brits, you’ll be lumped in with them. Either way, it can be uncomfortable.

7. How do you and your partner get on?

Singletons face their own challenges, but for couples moving abroad it’s second only to having a baby as the worst way of trying to save a relationship. The combination of sun, stress and temptation can be totally destructive. For one partner at least, the effect can be devastating.

8. When was the last time you gave somebody your mobile phone number?

It’s easy to take the network of family, friends and work colleagues that you’ve built up over many years. Heading overseas probably means you’ll be starting from scratch, both from a social and business point of view. Shrinking violets can find life abroad is lonely and impoverished. Work doesn’t often come to those who wait.

9. What’s your idea of a good night out?

Strangely enough, being an unadventurous expat can be an advantage. A night in with a pizza and a movie is now an option almost anywhere in the world. Rent a DVD and the chances are it’ll have an English language version. Lovers of theatre, for instance, may be less well served as are aficionados of cosmopolitan food. Most countries are more patriotic in their tastes than Britain when it comes to cuisine and art.

10. How do you feel at the end of a summer holiday?

If you wish it would never end, you’re probably one of the Brits primed for disappointment if you move abroad.

It’s hard work.